hungry.posterous

to eat or not to eat. 

77

Usually, people forget their dreams once they wake up or if they do not try their hardest to remember every sliver of it when they first rouse from their sleep. Last night, I wasn't feeling well and perhaps, this contributed to the most bizarre nightmare I've ever had so far. I can't remember it entirely - only two happenings are vivid in my mind now and both are equally puzzling. It is puzzling because I tried to interpret it since I'm a firm believer that dreams mean something to a person. 


I don't remember how it started and maybe I forgot because it wasn't as shocking as the part where an unknown friend brought me to a gladiator-like ring and told me that there are inexplicable things in this world. An injured man in a long-flowing black garb came out of nowhere and started running away from a man armed with a rifle. The speaker announced that it was a Pakistani man trying to escape from an Israeli. I didn't question the inaccuracy of the clothing of said men in my dream; everything seemed the way it should be. I stood in the middle of the ring with my friend, as if we were invisible, then I saw the Pakistani man turned into a huge dog, one the size of an adult panther, in a split second. He looked petrified by this transformation so I guessed someone cast a spell on him and it made him stop on his tracks to survey the surroundings with pleading eyes. I was equally confused and scared but my friend was calm. He was very serene; he knew what was going to happen. In another instant, the Israeli chaser turned into a lion the size of an elephant, leaped at the dog and bit its head off with one swift move. Then it faced me and growled loudly, showing all its bloody teeth after the violent victory. Its head alone was twice my height and I was so shaken by it that I fell to the ground with the echoes of the deep, primal sounds still ringing in my ears. My 'friend' gazed askance at me before putting a hand on my shoulder when I started sobbing. I don't know who or what I was crying for. Maybe it was for the fallen man.

In the second incident, I stood outside an indoor public washroom looking at the signs on the doors to decide which to enter. The men's and the women's doors face each other at an angle and the outer walls are covered with wine-red, small tiles. I think it was at night because everything was dark even though I was indoor. A single, tungsten light bulb hung between the two doors. I entered the women's restroom which was to my right. There was nothing inside except pipes and a few people who seemed to be wondering, like me, what this was all about. The room was very small and there wasn't any cubicle at all. The space where the cubicles should be located had been shut off by a cement wall. I was also curious as to why there was a middle-aged man taking his top off in the women's washroom but I decided to be passive and just went out quietly. Then I entered the men's washroom as if it was the natural thing to do if the women's restroom is closed. An old monk looked surprised to find me in there when I entered but I wasn't the slightest bit fazed by it. He was shorter than me so he had to look up when he said this, "The women's restroom is closed because they had to fix some pipes in there." I didn't know what to say to that so I just nodded my head and went further inside.

That is all I can remember. Bizarre.

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76

"A sensitive person receives fifty impressions where somebody else may only get seven. Sensitive people are so vulnerable; they're so easily brutalized and hurt just because they are sensitive. The more sensitive you are, the more certain you are to be brutalized, develop scabs… I can't trust anyone enough to give myself to them. But I'm ready. I want it. And I may, I'm almost on the point, I've really got to … Because—well, what else is there? That's all it's all about. To love somebody."

- Marlon Brando.

Let's watch his films again, yes?

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75



OMG I'M GOING TO TEACH MY BABIES FRENCH. FOR REAL.

now excuse me while I revise my level of comprehension in said language maintenant. Yes, that's how bad it is. I'm reduced to incorporating single words or basic nothings like je t'aime, tous les jours, par hasard. I'm not even sure I spelled those right. It's definitely time to hit the books again. Pardon me if I add unrelated simple French sentences in my posts from now on. Yours truly REALLY needs to practice. Thanks to Capucine (the girl in the video), I'm finding the motivation to learn French again.

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74

platypus is a hybrid of beaver and duck.

source

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73

I want to have a bunny.
We always want what is impossible, eh? :(

xoxo,
going out to meet friends from sophomore year.

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72 Reminiscing and a constant

Nothing is as relaxing as watching the sky besides sleeping because time seems to pass by so quickly while your gaze follows the slow movements of the clouds across the vast blue sky. If you're lucky, you'll see silhouettes of birds flying freely and before long, your mind will wander elsewhere: happy thoughts, sad memories, resolutions, regrets and musing. I have no skills in photography whatsoever but I like taking pictures of the sky and each photograph reminds me of a personal moment I had when I took it.

The earliest memory of sky-watching that I had was probably in my second year of kindergarten. My brother had broken my parents' wedding plate the night before and my mom, seething with anger, hung him by the wrists with a thick rope in the back room. My driver brought him down when my mom wasn't looking but he didn't stop crying till the next morning on our way to school. I remember it was a Thursday because I wore my frilly pinafore. My kindergarten had different uniforms set for different weekdays and pinafores were for Thursdays. As my brother sobbed in the backseat, touching his welts tenderly, I turned and looked at the pale moon in the morning sky and told myself, "This is it. This moment will never come again. I will remember this for years to come. I have to remember this. Wow. The moon looks beautiful. He's still crying. It must have hurt a lot. The sky is clear and really pretty! but his tears. His tears are making me sad." I remembered it to this day and I don't think I'll ever forget it anyway.

"Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length."
— Robert Frost


The next vivid memory took place one fine day when I was still in high school. My class had P.E (physical exercise) lesson that afternoon and our P.E teacher told us to play basketball. Everybody went to the basketball court and started playing but I thought there were too many people playing in both courts - 28 people on 2 courts - so I told the teacher that I wasn't going to do anything. I was a brat but I got along really well with all the teachers in my school so he let me do as I wish after making me promise that I'd get a gold grade for the annual physical test that year. That was easy-peasy so then I roped in three other girl friends to join me and lie down on some open space near the courts. We gossiped a little but my thoughts were soon lost in the calm blue sky and cotton clouds. The vastness of it made me feel so minute and peaceful with my surroundings. I love that feeling. Light breeze blowing around and the upbeat noise of classmates playing in the background seemed so distant, as if it they existed in a separate world. I fell asleep. My friends woke me up when the bell rang and we got ready for the next class. I crave that sensation every now and then from that day on.

My friends don't understand why I like to take pictures of "nothing" so much. To them, if there isn't a subject in the picture, i.e. persons or buildings, then those are pictures of "nothing". A scene that is not worth taking a picture of. A waste of memory card space. A bore in a Facebook album. Their opinions matter to me, of course, but these pictures of 'nothing' remind of a lot of things, so I keep taking them nonetheless.


           
Click here to download:
72_Reminiscing_and_a_constant.zip (1210 KB)

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71

I've never made a new year resolution list before but I think it's high time I start doing so even though my gut feelings say I'm going to fail at keeping them. I'll try my best. The list is simple and not too specific so that it is easier to knock off the things in it. ;)

  • read at least a dozen books this year, preferably french ones so my french won't deteriorate too much and too quickly.
  • write/blog more
  • visit London again
  • fall in love (is this typical of an ny list item? I don't know)
  • sleep before 2 am every night no matter what. great skin + great rest = great day ahead
  • no impulse buying of unnecessary items. toilet rolls and light bulbs are fine because you never know when an emergency might happen.
  • learn to keep my emotions and expressions in check.
  • clean up more often, preferably be a clean freak like my mom. I find that it helps me organize my thoughts more easily.
  • draw/sketch more
  • make my daddy happy every time he calls. I shall not do anything that will make him worry.
  • learn how to be more approachable.
  • learn how to make vectors

That's it. A dozen items on the list. :) wish me luck.

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70

Are you kidding me? Seriously?

LOL.

Click here to find out your blog rating (according to the website)

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69

How do folks with sweet-tooth like me know when a new phase in our lives has begun?
I know it when the bittersweet flavor of dark chocolate tastes just perfect in my mouth and I no longer crave for milk chocolates with caramel fillings no matter how inviting they look.
That is part and parcel of growth and change. People change whether they like it or not. For the most part, I think the changes in me have been proven positive in my life so far. The new year will undoubtedly bring new changes and I sincerely hope everything will be better. Almost everyone I know has grumpily stated that 2008 is a 'sucky' year for all. I don't want to comment further on it except that it hasn't been my kind of year either.

So I decided to maximise the last 48 hours of this sucky year by doing things I've always wanted to do but kept pushing aside, such as watching Casino Royale. It far surpasses Quantum of Solace because the plot was easier to follow and for once, uh, Bond actually sticks to the girl even though she makes his heart bleed in the end. I assume everyone who is normal and hasn't been living under the rocks like I do has watched this action flick so my rambling over Daniel Craig's Bond is not a spoiler...right? It's just a healthy dose of fangirling that I need to get out there. Pierce Brosnan is a natural charmer, of course, but his James Bond was somehow a little too sleek for my liking. Anybody else feels this way? Craig's portrayal of James Bond is the one my dreams are made of. hahahaha. I love the new James Bond. I love Daniel Craig. uh. no. I love the new James Bond. Daniel Craig made him so, so, so irresistible. A little ego and arrogance in a man is always attractive. I haven't fangirl-ed this much since Michael Scofield graced my tv in Prison Break and Takeshi Kaneshiro starred in The Accuracy of Death, which is a very good movie, by the way. I shall not embarrass myself further by chattering on about how awesome the new James Bond is. Let's just enjoy these wonderful screencaps! I know it's pathetic that I watched a box-office spy movie on a Mac but it will have to do for the time being. Screencapping is the upside of it! Yes, yes, I'm consoling and deluding myself.

                                                           
Click here to download:
69.zip (6170 KB)

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68

People believe, thought Shadow. It's what people do. They believe. And then they will not take responsibility for their beliefs; they conjure things, and do not trust the conjurations. People populate the darkness; with ghosts, with gods, with electrons, with tales. People imagine, and people believe: and it is that belief, that rock-solid belief, that makes things happen.

-- 
American Gods, Neil Gaiman


Neil Gaiman always have something wise to impart.

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