7
Of course it's great to receive royal treatment and have a friend as nice as I am who brings you everywhere and introduces you to many interesting people. But you forgot what I'm like. I have polar extremes when it comes to personality. Have you forgotten that? How could you? I guess it can't be helped. I don't blame you for getting all excited and fired up to come visit again but I hated it when you said you are only going to come when I'm around. Why would you do that? Because you had the time of your life while I'm here? That was a one time gift from me, mate. There won't be a second time. I refuse. Because I'm tired of giving, giving, giving and giving some more. You are taking me for granted. You never give anything back. You know I don't fall for that overused phrase, "giving is better than receiving." Maybe I did before and if I ever feel that way towards someone again, that person won't be you. Who are we kidding? Giving is only better than receiving when you are doing it for someone you love. You are not that person for me.
I hated it when people mistook you as my best friend. I've told you more than twice that I'm not. I am not your best friend. When I told them that you are not, they looked bemused. I know you love me. Why? Because I let you keep on taking from me emotionally, socially, financially, but there won't be anymore of that from now on. Stop telling everyone that you love me. Have you noticed that I've never replied those statements with "I love you too"? Never. I think you did notice because sometimes you'd ask me whether I love you. You are just a friend, albeit a pretty close one. But you'd never be a best friend to me. You don't understand my thoughts and feelings during the most important moments. You can never compare to my best friend who always gets me every time even though we don't meet or talk as often as you and me. You and I will never have that because you pale in comparison when it comes to being a friend and part of society the way I like it. I'm her best friend; she's my best friend. That's what best friends are. One-sided acknowledgement goes nowhere - it doesn't count. It makes me feel uncomfortable that you are still doing it despite what I told you time and time again. I don't want to be arrogant but you are not the first or last person who feels that way about me. I'm flattered, really, but we've known each other for years and nothing has changed - you don't understand me and you don't enlighten me in any way. You understand me most of the time but never during the crucial times. But even though it's far from perfect, I have to admit we get along fine. Can we just leave it this way? Please. I don't expect much but I do expect something in return for all that I've done for you. But you never give back. and you think you are right that way because "this is just the way I am". You think you're wise but I've seen more worlds that you could ever imagine and I say that you are naive. I've seen the way you treat the people in your life and I don't like it. Like you said, this is just the way I am and count on me traveling to other parts of the world when you come here again. I hate being taken advantage of.
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